And they live happily ever after?

I don't know why just feel like blogging right now.
Is 2:o9 on April 12 now.
Am not tired or sleepy either right now,feels like talking and express my thought and feelings to someone but none are awake now.
I always realized other than twitter,i always love to express my feelings here :)
*sighing* What do forever means? For my own opinion,i don't think forever existed until you're really lock to someones heart and that's forever :D
But,for youngster like us,forever don't exist.
How about love?Trust,believes,freedom,understand?Some more?
I'm from a strict family which cannot really open my relationship to public to prevent my family members to know and he should know that.
By now,i don't really know whether i really know him a not,is not that i don't believe in him because i never want to blame him.Its me,i don't trust myself,i don't give my trust towards him.
My weakness,which is getting jealous easily always break me down when i see my love one close with others.
I hate it.And for some small reason we always fight and at last he'll try letting me win and eventually i feel like a loser in the next second.
Loving a person too much will leads us to an arguments?Is that even possible to happen in the first place? *confuse?*
Furthermore,at sometimes,i mean most of the time,i always try to prove how much i care and love him but I'll still never gonna beat the expectation that he expected from me.
I never thought I'll gone through this kind of situation.
For everything i did for him and only him,he'll never know how much i sacrifice,maybe he does but sometimes he'll say that I'm wrong and prove it to me one by one.
I do hurt when that happens but so?
No one can feel my pain except myself.
When he said i kept secret away from him,it hurts me more because that will be the last thing i do on earth.
I'm not the lying kind of person and i hate liars and his my boyfriend,there will be no way for me to lie to him but he said i did.
I cant and wont fight back to avoid arguments.
Distance and time is already my barriers between me and him.With that,our bridge start to be not stable and is not that strong anymore compared to last time.
I do love him,care bout him and his my precious.I always tell him i don't know how to describe my love for him,but i don't think he get what I'm trying to say.
I love him for him and its him.
There is no way a girl sitting infront of the monitor in the middle of the night to express how much she loves him.
I hope he could understand my heart.
There's too much confusion in my head now and it's killing me for me to think about it.
Strange feelings which stuck at my heart still haven't go away yet.
When I'm depressed,i always keep it in my heart and let it out by flowing my tears and when i'm happy,i'll say it out and share with everyone :)
Anyways,if there's something u kept in your heart and you think it'll hurt me,I'll prefer you to let it all out instead of keeping it to yourself just that you're afraid that u might or will hurt me.
I do cherish every moments that we've been through.I love u and i want u to know that.

ps: i'm still strong enough to go through all this hurting words which might hurt me :/ dont forget i'm strong! :p